Well, my father is dying. Before we start feeling sad and sorry, let me add the disclaimer that I don't really know the dude, so... I mean, I've met him a few times, but he was no Daddy. In all my 26 years, I can count on my fingers (and not use them all) how many memories I have of him being there for something, so his impending doom really doesn't have an effect on me.
Now, with that being said, My father is dying. The dude that has been in and out of jail, roundhouse kicked a muhfucker that owed him $20, held a small group of people hostage for some money that he was owed, hurled a full beercan at one of his nieces for talking slick, got smashed in the chest with a large block of concrete in the prison yard during some construction, heart surgery patient, infamous crackhead and carpenter is dying... from overdosing on OXYGEN.
How, you may ask, does one overdose on the 8th element, so vital to human life? You become a crackhead, and you hook yourself up to a friend's oxygen tank. You set the gauge too high, and voila! Your blood becomes saturated with oxygen. Doctor's couldn't figure out how to rid his blood of the oxygen, so... they basically told him to wait on dying to resolve his medical issues.
From what I can gather, dude is/was highly intelligent. Guess he got caught up with the wrong people after breaking my mother's heart (another story for another day, yet another reason why I don't fuck with that nigga). Oh, yeah, then his "girlfriend" left yo bleeding on the floor of their apartment for 3 days. Now he's been diagnosed with pnumonia. Aaand he's at the hospital directly accross the street from where I happen to live...
Grama (my Mamma's Mamma) is pressuring me to go see him. I might, may make for an interesting blog... may resolve some of my Daddy Issues before he kicks the old bucket. Part of me doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, though. Call it what you like....but I think I turned out alright without his help, yahmean?
Monday, April 20, 2009
Too Much Of A Good Thing.
Posted by The Notorious Z.A.G. at 1:38 AM
Labels: inspiration, self-reflection, womanhood
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3 comments:
Wow!
That was like something out of a movie, sis.
I really don't know what I'd do in your situation, but maybe it would be a...generous? thing to do to go and see him one last time. Maybe you can give him a 30 sec update on your life so he'll have some semblence of the beautiful person his daughter has become...without his help, yahmean?
:o)
I've been thinking about it. Guess I better think fast because I don't think he has a lot of time left... Don't know what I would say to him though since he kind of abandoned me for his own selfish issues (including the chick he married while leading my mother to think they would be together..hhmph); not to mention that I've attempted several times as an adult to connect with this man who just couldn't seem to find his way to his oldest child and only daughter. So, on one hand I'm not sure if going there is a good idea; do I really want to dash his dying thoughts of how I MAY feel about him? (He's not certain that I don't fuck with him like that, but he probably has some idea) Or do I go and show some charity and symapthy for someone who was not so kind to me, just because he's dying??
....thatNigga'z a Hood Superhero who lost hiz way
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