Flying Colors...

I got my report card today and it reads as follows:

HEPATITIS B: negative
HEPATITIS C: negative
GONORRHEA: negative
CHLAMYDIA: negative
SYPHILIS: negative
HIV: Negative
PAP SMEAR: normal

I passed all my tests with flying colors. Might I suggest YOU ALL get tested. Better safe than sorry; no sex is worth dying for!! GET TESTED!! Not just HIV/AIDS; get tested for everything. If you're sexually active, your life depends on it!!!!!

Spring Fever, Maybe?

Well, I'm sitting in my GYN's office, and I see lots of round bellies sitting around when suddenly I have this overwhelming urge to HAVE a BABY..I have a 7yr. old whom I love dearly (who, by the way keeps asking me, "Hey Ma, when are you gonna have another baby??!" To which I usually respond, "Boy, get outta here!"), but its been a really long time and I find myself mystified with the idea of feeling my bestfriend's/love's baby squirming around in my womb. Watching it grow, rubbing my tumtum and getting all of that special "PregnantLady" attention. And I wonder what (s)he will look like, I mean, we're a badass couple! Chubby, bubbly little brown babies are like, the best thing ever; with the drool and the new baby smell...mmmm!! And to have my BabysBaby??! THAT would be the bomb, no doubt. Could this be old fashioned Spring Fever that animals get when its time to mate and procreate?
Buuut... I'm broke as fuck and enjoy spoiling my OneandOnly (One, for short)...not to mention I'm lazy as shit and I have a lot on my plate as of late sooo:
Maybe this baby done made some other plans (Stevie Wonder fans, Stand Up!!)...
Maybe 2010 (Honey, are you reading?! LOL)...

Too Much Of A Good Thing.

Well, my father is dying. Before we start feeling sad and sorry, let me add the disclaimer that I don't really know the dude, so... I mean, I've met him a few times, but he was no Daddy. In all my 26 years, I can count on my fingers (and not use them all) how many memories I have of him being there for something, so his impending doom really doesn't have an effect on me.
Now, with that being said, My father is dying. The dude that has been in and out of jail, roundhouse kicked a muhfucker that owed him $20, held a small group of people hostage for some money that he was owed, hurled a full beercan at one of his nieces for talking slick, got smashed in the chest with a large block of concrete in the prison yard during some construction, heart surgery patient, infamous crackhead and carpenter is dying... from overdosing on OXYGEN.
How, you may ask, does one overdose on the 8th element, so vital to human life? You become a crackhead, and you hook yourself up to a friend's oxygen tank. You set the gauge too high, and voila! Your blood becomes saturated with oxygen. Doctor's couldn't figure out how to rid his blood of the oxygen, so... they basically told him to wait on dying to resolve his medical issues.
From what I can gather, dude is/was highly intelligent. Guess he got caught up with the wrong people after breaking my mother's heart (another story for another day, yet another reason why I don't fuck with that nigga). Oh, yeah, then his "girlfriend" left yo bleeding on the floor of their apartment for 3 days. Now he's been diagnosed with pnumonia. Aaand he's at the hospital directly accross the street from where I happen to live...
Grama (my Mamma's Mamma) is pressuring me to go see him. I might, may make for an interesting blog... may resolve some of my Daddy Issues before he kicks the old bucket. Part of me doesn't want to give him the satisfaction, though. Call it what you like....but I think I turned out alright without his help, yahmean?

Can't You See?!

Wanna know how I know I'm getting old?
People born in the years after I was born are grown and successful.
I had to ask what "smh" meant...smh.
My son is...7?! Wait, didn't I just have this child yesterday?
Eeep!! Still can't believe my oldest niece is driving. Driving!! I remember the day she was born.
Getting old(er) has its perks though. I don't get carded often. I can come and go as I please. I don't have to answer to anyone. I'm responsible. I'm actually looking forward to menopause. Most importantly I can serve as a mentor to the youth!! (stayinskool...)
But I have to make sure I get rid of those stray chin-hairs when I shower. And stress (my neck... My back... Myneckandmyack!!) is a bitch right about now. Decisions need to be made that no one can make for me. I don't understand today's music or fashion. I long for the good ol' days of baggy jeans, Wu-Tang, and Total.
I'm on the road to 30..getting closer every day. Four more years and counting. Wait... 30 is supposed to be the "new 20".. There's hope for this aging chick after all!! LOL