Two of Four.

Formerly The Notorious Z.A.G., I was assimilated by the Borg: Brain Override Regarding Good (good sense, good judgment, good ideas, you name it). It was then I became Two of Four (all my Star Trek fans should get it). I have since regained my consciousness, and am now migrating slowly back into the human race, but let me tell you how and why I am now Two of Four.
At the tender age of 18... I was green, naive, silly... stupid. I wasn't missing any of my intelligence, it was just that my Brain Overrode anything Regarding Good. BORG. I fell in love with an idiot, because he showed me some attention. Lied to me about being hurt in relationships and blah blah blah, yackity smackity. I fell for it because I didn't know any better. I wanted to be that SOMETHING for someone, and that someone just happened to be the first yutz to come along. Well, he had an older woman - who I believe was about 35 then - pregnant (he was 20 or 21 at the time) who he insisted was not pregnant by him. I didn't care though, I sat there being a stupid little girl satisfying his every whim. Ran up my credit card bill... ran up my cell phone bill to $700 talking to females on chat lines. A complete and utter sizzling hot mess. I mean, even this dude's family was questioning why I was with this loser...and that's a direct quote. I couldn't see it at the time, a nigga had stars all in her eyes... thanks to the BORG.
To make a long story short, sooner than later I was pregnant. Did he want the baby? No. Did I care? Nope. Did I think that a baby would solidify the relationship and keep him there with me forever? I most certainly did, and boy was I wrong. We were together for about 7 or 8 months after I had the baby, and the relationship ended with me destroying all the electronics and gifts I received during the course of the relationship (almost 3 years) because he tried to take them back, over something so dumb that I can't even remember. I took all of that shit and tossed it in the street, watching gadgets and parts explode into pieces on impact. Shit, if I couldn't have it, he definitely couldn't, especially since I couldn't get back all the time and money I had so blindly put into the "relationship."
Well, my son is now seven years old, and hasn't seen his dick of a dad in about five years. Which I'm not okay with, but I can't force a man to be a man. That's not my job. My job is to raise my son the best way that I can. But that's all beside the point. Lately this infidel has decided to crash back on the scene via text message. Oh, technology can be a bitch; and get this: the first thing this fool is talking about is how he misses me and still loves me and wants to see me and been thinking about me and some ole other bullshit. NOTHING whatsoever about how his son is doing. Which I find both sad and hilarious. How the fuck are you gonna text me talking about you love me and miss me, but mention nada about the baby we made 8 years ago? Not to mention this dude has a girlfriend.... that I looked up on MySpace because I'm just like that. Don't know why but I like to know how a mother fucker looks... ya know? So anywho, I talk to him and find out that some other female is claiming that he fathered her child, and he doesn't believe it's his because the "Baby is lighter than [me] and has good hair. Man, that baby don't look nothing like [he does]." Now, being a fan of Maury... I'm well aware that a baby doesn't have to look like you to be yours. I explain that via text, but this dumbass doesn't get the point. He continues to tell me that he still loves me and is thinking about me... yeah okay, whatever dude.
Skip forward to today, I text him to find out whether or not my son has yet another brother that he'll never know because his father is a dick. Turns out, you ARE THE FATHER!! Some ole Maury type shit, lol. Again with the sad hilarity of the situation. So, being me, I decide to check out girlfriend's MySpace page again (I hadn't been on there in a while) and homegirl's status says: Preparing for the baby, getting ready for our trip in july and getting a promotion at work. Doing big things." Of course curiosity gets the best of me and I ask him, what baby are they preparing for? Turns out THIS chick is pregnant now. If you haven't been keeping count, she is baby mama number FOUR. Which makes me Two of Four. The BORG is taking over. So beware.
Why are niggas still fucking bitches without rubbers?? I mean... is poon really THAT good? To either a.) die for, b.) ruin a life or two.. or three or four for? Stupid.. I swear I wish I had been allergic to stupid years ago. Don't get me wrong, I love my son infinitely, he's a star!!

But good gottdamn... to fuck an idiot

BathroomBreak.

Red nail polish
worn and chipped
on fingertips
that graze
bruised lips
heart and mind
slips
into the darkest abyss
a soul could ever know
Eyes search their
reflection and
attempt the
detection
of the woman
who once stood
taller than anyone
she ever knew
the truth came to
a screeching halt
at the safe side of
her bruises
the cool quiet
sanctuary was
useful only until
he decided she'd
had enough
alone time
the crime she
committed slipped
her mind
but he'd only find
another reason
to do what
he does best:
punish her flesh...

Life Goes On

Friend's blood and brains splattered on pavement
Phone calls from collections expecting payment
Nursing home& inevitable interment arrangement
But life goes on...
Beat up, hair pulled and choked out
Procrastination, depression and self doubt
Bury face in pillow and then shout
But life goes on...
Yellow slip out front my shit is past due
Pockets thin but all my clothes is brand new
How to save, admit that I have no clue
But life goes on...
Carry weight that no one seems to understand
Press on for my Son and my favorite Man
Crumble under the weight of all these demands
But life goes on...

Flying Colors...

I got my report card today and it reads as follows:

HEPATITIS B: negative
HEPATITIS C: negative
GONORRHEA: negative
CHLAMYDIA: negative
SYPHILIS: negative
HIV: Negative
PAP SMEAR: normal

I passed all my tests with flying colors. Might I suggest YOU ALL get tested. Better safe than sorry; no sex is worth dying for!! GET TESTED!! Not just HIV/AIDS; get tested for everything. If you're sexually active, your life depends on it!!!!!

DuckDuck...Goose.

You know what really gets my goose? When my blog comments aren't approved on moderated blogs. I go back expecting to read my treasured and valuable opinion...only to have my thought demolished by the bloggod controlling whether or not my words will be seen by the world. My idea is then, gone forever with the simple, pompous click of a mouse *poof*. Am I really THAT opinionated that bloggods feel the need to dismiss my shit as brash and abrasive and not worthy for eyes other than their own? I'ownkno but that shit really gets my goose.
Say what you want on my blogspot; frankly I don't give a fuck and don't think I am worthy enough to say I disapprove of any of my readers' comments.
XOXO

Spring Fever, Maybe?

Well, I'm sitting in my GYN's office, and I see lots of round bellies sitting around when suddenly I have this overwhelming urge to HAVE a BABY..I have a 7yr. old whom I love dearly (who, by the way keeps asking me, "Hey Ma, when are you gonna have another baby??!" To which I usually respond, "Boy, get outta here!"), but its been a really long time and I find myself mystified with the idea of feeling my bestfriend's/love's baby squirming around in my womb. Watching it grow, rubbing my tumtum and getting all of that special "PregnantLady" attention. And I wonder what (s)he will look like, I mean, we're a badass couple! Chubby, bubbly little brown babies are like, the best thing ever; with the drool and the new baby smell...mmmm!! And to have my BabysBaby??! THAT would be the bomb, no doubt. Could this be old fashioned Spring Fever that animals get when its time to mate and procreate?
Buuut... I'm broke as fuck and enjoy spoiling my OneandOnly (One, for short)...not to mention I'm lazy as shit and I have a lot on my plate as of late sooo:
Maybe this baby done made some other plans (Stevie Wonder fans, Stand Up!!)...
Maybe 2010 (Honey, are you reading?! LOL)...

The K'Naan Show Chronicles??

A few weeks ago, my cousins and I went to see K'Naan at Bourbon Street. His show kicked ass. The lovely ladies and I were like, right in front of the stage, we had the best standing-room-only-spots in the house!! Maya, Tiya and Mina were there when my little cousin Kia (we share the same name, nahmean??) got there, and unbeknownst to me, I had stationed myself in front of a little boy. When I turned and saw him there, his expression was that of 1,000 lost dreams, and I realized I was blocking his view of the stage. Being a mother, and an all around stand up gal, I switched places with Lil' Z, (who is about 5 inches and 200 lbs. lighter than I am), and his joy was instantly renewed. While standing and waiting for the show to start, the ladies struck up conversation with a group of teenaged white chicks from Annapolis, who were drunk and only 15. Well, the teens started talking to them first. None of them bothered to say anything to me, I guess my intolerance for bullshit was very apparent, as we had been standing there for about 2.5 hours before the show began.
About 15 minutes before the show, I hear my comrades begin to moan and complain about some miscellaneous crazy homeless woman, and before I see who they're talking about, I find myself being accosted and almost knocked down by a giant ass making it's way through the dense crowd to greet the ladies.
Dubbed, "The Crazy Muslim Lady," she planted herself right in front of the little boy I had blocked before. Now, I had moved for the boy, who only looked about 8 or 9 years old at the most, and she was arguing...or firm in her belief I should say, that she should not move out of his way. This kind of pissed me off, so after a brief discussion with Maya and Kia, we decided that Kia and I should switch places, putting me directly in front of The Crazy Muslim Lady, blocking her view of the stage.
"Excuse me," she shouted, shrouded in her various knit scarves and shit ( as seen in the first picture with the red on; we were in a crowded ass, hot room full of people mind you...there are thin cotton scarves, and linen scarves available but she had on some like...knit wintertime neck scarves to cover her self with.. what thee fuuck??!), "but you're in my personal space!"
"Excuse me," I retorted, "but my cousins and I were here first."
"I don't care if you WERE here first, You are in my space, and I will KNOCK YOU DOWN!!!!" The Crazy Muslim Lady threatened, pressing her hips up against mine. We were just about evenly matched in height and weight, so needless to say, I didn't budge.
"Really? Peace out..." *pointed to my peace sign scarf, and threw up the deuces..*
"There is NOTHING peaceful about you! You have your body pressed up against me, trying to push me... I am a Muslim Woman and my BODY IS SACRED!!" (LMMFAO)
"Wow, well pray for me then..."
"Are you Muslim? I pray that you did NOT come out of a Muslim Womb, because you are VERY NASTY!!!"
There was much more to the conversation, but I waited too long to blog about it, and I have the memory of an ostrich, lol. But there was enough happening to catch the attention of a security guard, who came over and attempted to smooth over the situation, which he did with minimal success, because The Crazy Muslim Lady was still salty about the whole ordeal even after the show was over (mission accomlished!! lol).
And then the show starts... yaaaaay!! K'Naan and his band KILLED the show, man. His songs were informative, deep, uplifting...crazy. But those damned silly little girls (who Kia noted, probably didn't even know what he was singing/raping about) were cheering and shit when the room would get quiet, which was also when K'Naan would be talking about death, child soldiers, and the general dire conditions in Somalia.. so much so that he had to indicate to the girls to shut thee fuck up. In addition to their ignorant cheering, they kept swinging their hair around, slapping me in the face with that bullshit. Soo.. I put my cold drink on one of their backs, and didn't have anymore problems with her... lol.
All in all, the show was kickass, and we had a great time. Afterwards, we went to XS and I had my sushi cherry popped, lol!! I ate that shit with chopsticks too, like a damn pro (thanks to the teachings of Mr. Zhang, my highschool Chinese Teacher... BPI, Stand Up!!!), although when I saw the bill..$37.89..uuugh for two sushi rolls and a mixed drink (what thee fuuck??!), my stomach kinda dropped, lol, but it was all good. I am the Prodigal Princess, after all, nahmean?
Tiya, Kia, Maya and Mina... we MUST do it again!!
xoxo